Mood swings
As if this were not enough, there are the myriad psychological
factors that influence individual personality development. No two
people are exactly the same and no experience is the same for everyone.
Reality is filtered through the unique psychological makeup of each
individual.
Add to that the fact that each person is irredeemably contextualized
within a specific environment peopled with family, friends and other
variables that react synergistically with one another.
Wouldn't your mood be swinging?
So the first thing we parents need to remember is that mood swings are
par for the course with teens. The challenge is to know when we need to
be tolerant and when there is a real problem that needs attention.
Mood swings are defined as vacillations between euphoria and
depression. Those of us who live with teens know that this describes
the scenario. Extremes predominate with the more moderate variations in
between almost completely absent.
In order to determine when help is needed we need to investigate what
falls under the rather inadequate term 'normal'.
Recent studies show that, contrary to accepted theory, the brain
continues to develop long after it has reached full size.
Previously it had been thought that the brain, which reaches 90%
of full size by age six, had also hit some kind of ceiling in
development.
What these studies show is that the teenage brain is still very much
under construction. In fact, it is the most evolved part of the brain,
the prefrontal cortex, that is still developing during the teen years.
Significantly these are the parts of the brain that are responsible for
all that we associate with maturity: planning, judgment and
self-control.
Apparently parts of the brain continue to mature into our
twenties.
So this is good news and bad news. The bad news is that there isn't a
whole lot you can do about mood swings in teens other than to check
acting out and practice tolerance.
The good news, and this far outweighs the bad news, is that they won't
always have two horns and a forked tail. We can look forward to a
future when our kids will be normal adults. This is cause for
celebration.
Parents who have labored under the impression that they had
somehow failed in their job get a reprieve and teens who occasionally
ponder on their alarming capacity for insanity can rest assured that
they are only visiting the lunatic fringe.
This is one of those cases when the discovery literally necessitates a
complete change in approach.
Facts now suggest that immaturity at this time of life is not
only to be expected but de rigueur.
Hopefully this will put a stop to the disturbing number of teens being
diagnosed with various forms of mental illness and slapped onto serious
psychotropic drugs that actually interfere with the crucial development
of the frontal cortex.
So now that the goal posts have changed when do we need to ring those
alarm bells?
Here are some pointers:
* Depression that persists and is immobilizing is serious and
needs attention. So are casual enquiries and comments about suicide.
The mood swings associated with the teen years do not include
protracted, disabling depression or suicidal thoughts.
* Acting out always requires boundaries to contain it. Teen mood
swings do make the youth prone to extravagant displays of emotion but
if these are destructive or aggressive they will need to be firmly
dealt with. You will need to take charge in much the same way you did
when they were two years old. In some cases the teen can be helped by
anger management courses that also teach useful life skills.
* Eating disorders are cause for immediate concern. Statistics
regarding teen bulimia and anorexia are particularly alarming. Watch
your child's eating habits. Pay attention if too much weight is lost
and monitor their exposure to the destructive aspects of the media that
proclaim that stick insects are more desirable than real people. Make
sure that you as a parent model a healthy, empowered relationship to
eating and body image.
* Drugging and drinking is not okay. Though it may seem an obvious
avenue to your teen it is a definite cause for parental concern.
Finally, communication. Listen. Listen. Listen. Be the kind of parent a
teen can talk to. Use a sense of humor. Laughing at ourselves is a
powerful way of touching on subjects that would otherwise be too
painful to broach.
Comments
No comments yet. Be first!